Welcome to My World
by m1tt
Summary: AU what if ally had a mother?
1. READ FIRST

I'm not responsible for your childhood death 


	2. feelings

ally hesitated, frustrated with her inability to express herself. "Why am I such a wimp?" she asked herself for the umpteenth time. Mackenzie, oblivious to her friend's turmoil, chattered on aimlessly. "Jeez, ally," she was saying, "isn't this a gorgeous view?" As she spoke she gestured out over the gorge, glowing in the amber light of the sunset. "Yeah...it's pretty amazing," ally responded softly. She looked down at the ground, then she rested her hand on her friend's arm. "Mac," she said even more softly, "there's something I need to tell you." Mackenzie reached up and took ally's hand and smiled, even though she knew what was coming. She was a true blue friend and nothing would ever change that...even what she feared was about to be an awkward conversation. She just looked at ally and let her speak her piece. "Mac," ally began, "I...I...you know that I will always be your friend." She knew that was lame, but it was a start. Mackenzie just smiled and nodded. "ally," she interrupted, "I will always be your friend, too. No matter what." She saw ally smile. "That's right. No matter how perverted you are. I'll always be your friend." That broke the tension and both girls laughed. "So, like, you know what I'm trying to say?" ally asked. "Well, if you're trying to say that you want to get in my pants, yeah. I got that idea a while back," Mac giggled. Then she got serious. "And it doesn't matter, ally. I'm not inclined in that direction, and I'm really sorry about that, but it doesn't mean that I'm not your best friend." ally looked down sadly. "I know," she said glumly, "I'm so...I don't know...I can't fit in with anyone...especially girls that I..." she broke off, shook her head, then plunged in again. "Oh goddammit Mac, can't you just kiss me?" she finally blurted out. Mackenzie looked at her friend silhouetted against the beautiful sunset. The light seemed to radiate from her, and for some reason she just looked so... "Oh what the hell," Mackenzie said, turning to face ally, "Do it." ally just gaped at her. "I mean it," Mac said firmly, "Go for it. Kiss me. We'd better get this out of our systems before we're roommates, don't you think?" "Yes, I do," ally said, taking Mac in her arms. The first kiss was tentative, more like a quick peck. But the hug was deep, full and warm. The second kiss had more staying power, and the ones that followed definitely picked up steam. Eventually, Mac got into French kissing and surprised herself at how much she enjoyed it. Finally, they paused to come up for air. "See," ally said triumphantly, "you do like it." "Yes I do," Mac said, smiling. "The problem is that I like boys. A lot. Like really a lot." ally giggled. "You're just one of those kind of girls, Mac. Boys are icky. You know they only want one thing." Mac laughed. "Yeah," she replied. "And I want that too. It's pretty awesome, ally, you need to try it. You might be a convert." "No fucking way," ally said with disgust. "The male animal is not made for me. I'll just wait until you see the light, Mac." They hugged and headed back to campus. It had been a wonderful weekend for the girls. Mackenzie and ally had been the two stars of their high school hockey team and Mac had graduated last year. She was recruited to the college's women's hockey team and ally was set to follow her. A knee injury in ally's senior season had led to a year off, and she decided to stay at home to work and rehab in familiar surroundings. She had fully recovered, though, and everything was set for her to start in the fall, so she came up to see a game and visit the campus. All too soon, it was time for ally to head home. When they parted, the girls kissed again. "I love you," ally whispered in Mackenzie's ear. Mac just ruffled her hair gently. "Take care, ally," she said. "Say hi to coach Ellen and your mom for me." "Thanks for everything, Ellen," Janice said. "You've been so...understanding and helpful with ally." The coach smiled and took another sip of her wine. "Janice, it's not unheard-of that women athletes are attracted to other women. I understand that very well," she said simply. "I never really thought about it in that way," Janice said. "I mean that's the stereotype, but..." her voice trailed off as she recalled sitting in the stands at one of the high school games and overhearing one young man referring to ally's team as the FLAs—Future Lesbians of America—to the uproarious laughter of his buddies. Knowing that ally was attracted to other girls more than boys had made that remark seem particularly cruel and hurtful. Looking a bit sad, Janice continued, "...but I assumed that ally was just going through a phase. I mean, we all went through the phase of having crushes on our girlfriends...we just outgrow them eventually." "Janice," Ellen said evenly, "most girls don't go through that phase." She looked directly at Janice before continuing, "and some of us never outgrow it." "You mean that you..." Janice began. "Yes. Of course," Ellen said simply. "I assumed that you knew." "Well, um...I guess...I mean I've never seen you with...well, anyone, I guess," Janice responded. "Janice, I'm not 'with' anyone at the moment," Ellen replied, "but that's not the point. I understand what ally is trying to cope with—and it can be very difficult for an 18-year old. It doesn't make it any easier that her closest friends are all involved with boys—she's always been the oddball socially. I just want you to know that I'll support her in any way that I can." Janice reached out and squeezed Ellen's hand. "Thank you for that," she said sincerely, "It means a lot." Ellen turned her hand over and interlocked her fingers with Janice's. The contact was electric for both of them. Janice couldn't understand what she was feeling. Yes, of course she was very grateful for the coach's support of her daughter. But there was more. The strong, even gaze—the lean, powerful body. Overall, a very commanding person...but still...a woman. Janice felt as though she were under a spell. They were simply holding hands, but feelings that she had rarely experienced were surging through her. Her mind drifted back as she struggled to make sense of what she was feeling. She had been divorced for several years. The marriage to Carl had been a mistake for both of them. She had loved him, but had never been "in love" with him. She didn't know if he had ever been in love with her, but he had been so nice and respectful that she could hardly say no when he proposed. Besides, everyone told her what a perfect man he was. She felt like she would have been making a huge mistake not to say yes...it would have been like passing up a once-in-a-lifetime deal. In the marriage, he continued to be very nice and respectful. And boring. In every way. He was hardly a sex fiend, but their married life had got to the point that she dreaded the twice-a-week mating ritual. She could still remember how it always ended with him grunting like a rutting animal and her feeling violated. She wondered why some women seemed to enjoy it. In any case, she gravitated to a circle of friends who shared strategies for managing the problem of their husbands' desire for sex. Once ally had got into high school, he had moved out and that was that. Her friends kept trying to set her up with dates, but she hadn't been interested. The guys were all depressingly the same. Besides, she had many friends, and enjoyed being around them. And she had learned that romance just wasn't for her... ...except now, her head was swimming and she felt like a school girl again. "Earth to Janice, Earth to Janice, come in please," she heard Ellen's voice as if from a distance, calling her back to reality. Her voice had a magical lilt to it. "I'm sorry...I think I was daydreaming," Janice said, blushing. "That's ok," Ellen chuckled. "It's been a long day, and I think we're both tired. Shall we call it a night?" As they stopped outside the restaurant to say goodbye, Ellen extended her hand. Janice grasped it, but then, impulsively, reached out to hug her. She caught herself in mid-hug, though, and stopped. Ellen laughed again. "It's ok," she said lightly, "I don't bite." Seeing Janice still hesitating she continued, laughing, "and lesbianism isn't contagious, Janice. You won't catch any dyke cooties if you hug me." Realizing how ridiculous she seemed, Janice gave in and wrapped her arms around Ellen. "Thanks again for everything," she said, squeezing the slender woman tightly. Driving home, Janice couldn't get the memory of the physical contact with Ellen out of her mind. It haunted her even in her dreams. "So it sounds like it was a great trip," Janice said after hearing ally's excited account of her exploits. "You're still sure that's where you want to go." "Oh yeah, mom. It's a beautiful campus and the team is amazing," her daughter replied excitedly, "and you know it's a great school...we couldn't afford it if I went on my own...and they've given me a scholarship." Janice nodded. "I just want to be sure that you're not just going there because of...because of that girl." In spite of her best intentions, she almost spat out "that girl." "What do you mean?" ally asked, hurt. "Mackenzie? Mom, that's not even fair." She felt tears welling in her eyes. "I...I...you don't even understand..." she turned away, again unable to find the right words to explain how she felt. Janice knew that her comment was unfair and hurtful as soon as she spoke. When she saw the pain in her daughter's face, she wanted to die. "I'm sorry, honey, I really am. It's just that..." she paused, searching for words, and she also felt tears begin to run down her cheeks. "It's just...I don't want you to be unhappy...with...you know..." She began crying, and covered her face with her hands. ally was confused. She was hurt, but she loved her mother and hated to see her cry. She reached out and hugged her. "It's ok mom. I'm really happy. Honest I am." "I know you are, honey. It's just hard to know that... that... Oh ally, I can't even talk about it," she said, sniffling. "I can't understand how you can choose..." her voice trailed off and she began crying again. Finally, something clicked in ally's brain: for the first time she felt like it was time to stop crying and apologizing for who she was. She sat up, wiped the tears from her face and looked at her mother. "Ok mom. Look," she said. "I don't know how to put this delicately, so I'll just say it. You know how girls think boys are icky...and then you get to be a certain age and you think they're cute?" She paused and looked down, taking a deep breath. "Well, I never got to that stage," she continued, "Boys are still pretty icky to me—just like when I was a little girl. But girls—well, when I'm around certain girls I feel...I can't explain it...I feel like all the lyrics of all the love songs I've ever heard." She saw her mother scowl. "So you're telling me what?" Janice asked bitterly, "that you're gay?" ally didn't back down. "If a label helps you to understand me, then color me gay—pink, I guess. But honestly mom, I just want to follow my heart...I NEED to follow my heart. If I have wonderful, loving feelings for a woman, well, that's where I want to be. If someday I would have those feelings for a guy, well, I guess that's where I'd be just as well." She paused, and her mother could see the frustration and anguish she felt. In spite of her prejudices, Janice felt her heart soften at the sight of her little girl being in such pain. "Mom, It's not like choosing a college," ally continued, "Can you understand? Please? I'm just trying to listen to my heart and to respect what I feel. This isn't about what I've chosen. It's about who I am." Janice was torn. She wanted her little ally to be happy. And she was so proud of her for having the courage to be true to herself. "But", Janice thought, "this attraction for other women is surely just a passing phase." Then she remembered holding hands and hugging with Ellen. Apparently the coach had had a point—it did take a long time to grow out of that phase. Perhaps a whole lifetime... "Oh my God," Janice thought, "what if it's a case of 'like mother, like daughter?' Or more accurately, 'like daughter, like mother...'" she chuckled mirthlessly. "What's so funny?" ally asked. "Nothing's funny," her mother replied, once again crying. The Christmas holiday was filled with the usual hustle and bustle, along with a tournament for the club team that ally was playing on during her "off year." Mackenzie was home and came to the first game, and Coach Ellen came along as well. Mac and Ellen chattered away like professional scouts, discussing the game and ally's play. Disappointingly, ally's team lost in the closing seconds, but Janice gathered that both Mac and the coach were impressed with her play. She invited them over for some pizza after the game and they both eagerly accepted—it would be the first time they had all been together in almost a year. They ordered a pizza and the girls skittered around like a pair of puppies—so happy to see each other that they could hardly contain themselves. Ellen and Janice sat on the sofa and talked quietly, amused at the antics of the girls. Janice was again amazed at how she felt drawn to Ellen—she was so easy to talk with that the time seemed to fly by. After dinner, the girls cleaned up and did the dishes. As Ellen talked, Janice glanced into the kitchen—just in time to see her daughter wrap her arms around Mackenzie from behind. Mackenzie pretended to struggle for a second, then turned and gave ally a kiss—on the mouth. "Janice, what's wrong," Ellen asked in a concerned voice. "Nnn...nothing...what do you mean?" Janice replied, crossly. "Your face. You look like something upset you," Ellen said carefully. "No. Nothing happened," Janice said firmly. "Nothing at all." She stood up. "Excuse me just a second, Ellen, I'm going to get some more wine." Picking up her glass, she headed into the kitchen. "ally, can I talk to you for a minute," she said. "Sure mom, what's up?" asked ally, still giggling with Mackenzie. "Mackenzie, I need to talk with ally alone for a bit, would you excuse us?" Janice said. Her tone of voice stopped the giggling instantly. "Of course," Mackenzie said quickly. "I'll just go in the living room." As she left, ally could see her and Ellen exchanging puzzled glances. "Ok, mom, now that we've made a scene, what's the problem?" ally asked. "Don't take that tone with me, young lady," her mother replied fiercely. "If you think that you're going to turn this house into a...a playpen for...for you and your little playmate you've got another thing coming. You may not have any more self-respect that to carry on like that in front of other people, but I'm not going to sit still for it," she paused, but anger was still visible in her eyes. ally was mild-mannered by nature, but, as many opponents had learned to their sorrow, she had a hard core. And she was not one to back down from a fight. "A what?" she retorted, "A playpen? For me and Mackenzie? What the hell have you been drinking?" As she spoke, her voice got louder until it attracted the attention of Ellen and Mackenzie in the living room. "I actually have a lot of self-respect, and, incidentally, respect for our guests, too—which you seem to lack. Where do you get off sending Mackenzie into the living room so you can lay some homophobic rant on me? You're not the only one who won't 'sit still for it,' mother darling," she shouted. Janice had never seen her this furious. The two women faced each other, eyes blazing. By now, Ellen and Mackenzie had come into the kitchen, afraid they would come to blows. "Hi everyone," ally said lightly, "We were just discussing why queer people aren't going to be welcome in our house. Right, mom?" Mackenzie sniggered. Ellen had the self-control to simply smile and say, "Maybe we've had enough for one evening. I think we all could probably use some rest." Janice, coming to her senses, stood, mortified. "No. Please. Don't go," she said softly. "Janice, it's been a long day, and I think everyone is just a little frazzled," Ellen said gently, laying her hand on Janice's arm. Janice grasped her hand and held it tightly. "Ellen, please. Please don't go...I don't know...Oh, I'm so sorry ally," she said, just before dissolving in tears. Ellen gently put her arm around Janice, saying, "Let's go sit on the sofa, shall we?" Then turning to the girls she added, "Maybe you guys can just hang out here. I think Janice is going to need some quiet time." "Yeah. Sure thing," Mac said softly, adding, "ally, it's ok. Really. It's ok." "I wish I could apologize for my mom," ally said grimly, "She acted like a dick." The girls sat at the breakfast bar. "Yeah. She did. What did she call me...your 'little playmate?' That's rich," Mac quipped. "Really. It would be ok if you actually would fucking PLAY with me...but no," ally said glumly, "Nothing doing. So we get one fucking hug, and I'm all of a sudden the Dyke Whore of the Century. Go figure." "Don't complain, you got a kiss, too," quipped Mac. They both giggled. "Hey," she added, "dwok. It sort of has a ring to it. ally Dwok." "What the fuck are you blathering about? What's a dwok?" asked ally, still a bit angry. "Dyke Whore of the Century. You know, it's an acronym like NASA or something. D...W...O...C. Dwok," Mac explained. "ally Dwok." "Great," sighed ally, resting her chin on her hand glumly. An hour later, the girls were yawning with fatigue, but the hum of voices continued unabated in the living room. "Mac, I think I need to go to bed," yawned ally, "I can't stay awake any more." "I know. Me too," said Mackenzie sleepily. "I hope I can stay awake long enough to get home." "Why don't you just stay here?" ally said. "You can stay in the guest room." Then she got an evil gleam in her eye, "Or, you could sleep with me. I've got a double bed. I'd keep you nice and warm." "Go to hell," said Mackenzie, playfully slapping ally's arm. "You only have one thing on YOUR mind, too. You're worse than a boy." "Fuck you," giggled ally. "My mother calls me a whore, and now my best friend thinks I'm a lech. Jesus. I'm going to bed for sure. C'mon. I'll get you a towel and some clean sheets." She led the way as the girls headed upstairs. As they passed through the living room, ally saw that her mom was in better shape. "Mom, Mackenzie is really tired—so am I—so I said she could stay in the guest room. Ok?"


	3. Dwok

Janice nodded, "Of course you're welcome, Mac, you know that, right?"

"Well, I was wondering about the 'little playmate' thing, but I think that I'll be safe for one night at least...I mean the door has a lock, right?" she quipped. That got a chuckle from everyone.

"Let's go...playmate," said Dannie, still laughing.

"Ok. Dwok." came the reply as they headed upstairs.

"What does dwok mean?" Janice asked Ellen.

"I don't have the slightest idea," Ellen replied. "I never heard it before."

"Well...anyway, thank you again for understanding. I can't believe how hard this is for me," Janice said as she looked at Ellen's beautiful hands. She realized that she was hoping for Ellen to hold hands with her again.

Ellen spoke gently, "How does the proverb go? 'Every bird must find its own tree. The tree doesn't find the bird.' Even though it's difficult for you, let her find what makes her happy. Neither you nor I can change what is inside ally. All we can do is to support her and to help her be happy with who she is."

Janice thrilled as Ellen reached out and took her hand.

"Believe me, Janice, I know from my experiences. This is more difficult for ally than it is for you. Everything around her says she should be one way...but her heart is leading her down a different path. She needs her mother now more than ever. She needs your supportproud of her daughter, and delighted to see her happy. After dinner, Janice walked with Ellen to her car.

"Thank you again," she said, hugging Ellen, "thank you for everything."

Ellen embraced her and they kissed goodbye. "Your daughter gave you good advice, Janice. 'Follow your heart.' Like ally, you must find your destiny."

"I'm trying," replied Janice, "give me a day or two on that one, ok?"

Ellen chuckled as she hopped in her car. Janice walked back in time to see ally and Mackenzie give each other a big, long hug as they parted. Mackenzie was heading back to school, so this was going to be goodbye for quite a while for them. Janice paused, not wanting to interrupt. She saw the girls, still with their arms around each other talking animatedly and giggling. Finally, Mackenzie threw her head back in mock surrender, and ally gave her a long goodbye kiss.

ally and Janice drove home in silence, lost in their own thoughts and desires. As they neared home, Janice saw ally grimacing.

"What's the matter, sweetie?" she asked. "Is something wrong?"

ally was feeling around her shoulder and neck. "I don't know. I fell and banged my arm on the ice and now I've got a sore shoulder." When they arrived home, Janice examined her her daughter's shoulder.

"Wow," she said, "you've got a hell of a bruise back here. Does this hurt?" she asked, giving an exploratory touch.

"Fuck," exclaimed ally, then she hurriedly amended that, "...I mean...wow. That's sore." Janice nodded.

"There's a big knot there. Take a hot shower, and I'll massage it," she said. "You can come and lay on my bed...it's better than yours for a massage.

After a long, hot shower, ally put on her favorite "Give blood, play hockey" t-shirt and a pair of her high school gym shorts. Entering her mother's bedroom, she saw her mom also in t-shirt and shorts getting some massage oil out of her drawer.

ally lay face down and Janice began gently rubbing her back over her t-shirt. After a few minutes, she said, "Dannie, I think the shirt has to come off if you want me to work on this knot." Without a word, ally pulled the shirt off and closed her eyes.

As Janice massaged her daughter, she became aware of how athletic and graceful her body had become. The muscles were toned and there was practically no fat to be found. She began with long strokes up and down the spine, gradually focusing in on the shoulders, then on the knot.

ally grunted as her mother worked the knot, slowly releasing it. "Ow...fuck...that's tight. Oh shit, mom, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't swear, but it hurts."

Janice gave her a playful swat on her bottom. "No, you shouldn't swear. But ally, you're a grown woman now, not a little girl. You have to figure things out for yourself."

ally pondered that for a minute. "Um," she asked, "is that a cryptic way of telling me something?"

Janice smiled and leaned into the knot. Ignoring another blast of profanity from her daughter she replied, "No. It's a statement of fact. You're legally and officially an adult. More importantly, though, you're able to stand on your own two feet along with another layer of tensions between mother and daughter. ally sighed and wiggled her shoulder. Janice could see that she was almost fast asleep. A gentle smile lit up her face as she drifted off .

"Well, that was one speech wasted," Janice thought, but she knew that she would have many opportunities to repeat ither little girl had indeed grown upincluding her ex-husband. "Maybe," she thought, "there is something to this idea that only a woman can truly understand another woman."

She looked at her daughter, who was wistfully gazing at her breasts. She wanted to make her daughter happy and fulfilled...she wanted to see a smile on the face of the girl who meant more to her than anything.


	4. feelings expressed

Impulsively, she sat up and pulled off her t-shirt, exposing her breasts. She lay back down next to Dannie. "Help yourself," Janice said softly. Danielle paused, confused. Then a look crossed her face—a look that Janice hadn't seen in years. It was like Christmas morning when Dannie was just a little girl...like when she just opened her favorite present. Danielle didn't have to be invited twice. She started with a few tentative squeezes, but very soon she was fully engaged. Janice watched her daughter explore a woman's body for the first time. Seeing the joy and excitement in her daughter's face made her feel sure that she had done the right thing. She stroked Danielle's hair as her daughter cupped, played, giggled. pinched, caressed. Then, suddenly, everything changed. Danielle was kissing, nibbling, and sucking. Nursing. The feel of the warm, young mouth on her nipples sent an electric current though Janice's body, and her maternal joy began to give way to womanly arousal. As Dannie suckled, Janice continued to stroke her hair, but now was gently guiding her daughter's head in its explorations. The nipple action continued to send waves of pleasure rippling through Janice's body and down to her pussy. She felt her clitoris become erect as a familiar tingling warmth spread through her loins. As Janice began to lose herself in pleasure, Danielle because more aggressive in her caresses. Janice had not felt sensations like this in years...not since... Well, she finally admitted to herself, not ever. She could feel that she was wet, fully aroused, ready for... for what? With an effort, she brought herself back to reality, and gently lifted her daughter's head from her nipple. Kissing her gently, Janice said softly, "This is so wrong, Danielle." "Mom, for Christ's sake. There isn't anything wrong with it at all...especially when it's so right." She looked at her mother and giggled, "You're outed. I can so tell that you like kissing women." "Yes, I do. I like kissing women," Janice affirmed. "I like touching women...ahhhh...Dannie stop that for a second," she gasped, plucking her daughters playful hand away, "As you can tell, I like a woman's touch." She took Dannie's face in her hands. "But you're not just a woman," she concluded, "you're my daughter." Danielle frowned, then an impish grin crossed her face. "Well, no one's perfect," she quipped. Janice chuckled, looking down to confirm that she was indeed naked in bed and making out with her nude daughter. "That's for sure," she confirmed. "Not perfect at all." Danielle looked at her mother. "Mom," she said softly, "sometimes ya just gotta follow your heart." "My heart will have me burning in hell if I'm not careful," Janice said, kissing Danielle tenderly. "Save me a spot next to you," Danielle sighed, deepening the kiss, "medium-well, please." They kissed until Janice could not stand it anymore. "How do you feel?" she asked her daughter softly. "Like I'm on fire," Dannie sighed. "Me too," replied her mother. "Maybe we should get up before we get scorched." Danielle was disappointed, but in her heart she knew that her mother was right. She had to admit that she was aflame with desire, but she was scared too. "Shit," she replied out loud, "I thought we were going to be on fire together." She continued her internal dialogue. Neither of them was ready for...for what, she asked herself? She couldn't even answer that question. "Outstanding," she thought bitterly, "you don't even know what you're not ready for." Clearly, she wasn't ready for...something. Her mother kissed her gently. Maternally. "Dannie, you look sad," Janice said. "What are you feeling?" "I don't know," her daughter replied. "Confusion, I guess. Heart vs. head, I think." "I know how you feel," her mother affirmed, "I'm crazy with desire and scared as hell—all at the same time." Danielle smiled and nodded. Hearing that her mother felt the same way she did made her feel good. Affirmed. Janice hugged her, now fully back in "mother mode." "I've got a good idea," she said brightly, "Let's have some French toast. That should perk us up." That broke the spell, and Danielle giggled. "No," she said with a twinkle in her eye, "I want cloud pancakes," referring to one of her favorite childhood breakfasts. Her mother laughed out loud. "Ok. One order of cloud pancakes coming up," she looked into Dannie's eyes and paused. They shared a look of mutual desire. Then, unexpectedly, Janice gave Danielle one final "stinker-binker" and jumped out of bed. "Last one downstairs is a rotten egg," she called. "You motherfucker," Danielle called after her. "Watch your language, this isn't a hockey rink," her mother called back. "And think about what you're saying, Ms. Freudian Slip." Danielle blushed crimson as she meekly descended the stairs. A few minutes later the pancakes were ready. Danielle sat, expectantly as her mother put an irregularly-shaped hotcake on one her plate. "This one's a cloud," began Janice, just as she had when her daughter was a little girl. Danielle smiled and poured syrup on the crazily shaped blob. "And this one is a..." Janice paused. "It looks like a hockey stick," said Danielle, "sort of a fat hockey stick." "Ok. So you have a cloud and a hockey stick. I'm going to take the football and the...hmmm." Janice paused, stumped. "Amoeba," giggled Dannie, "that one is definitely an amoeba." They ate together and Danielle delighted as they talked about memories of making pancakes when Dannie was a little girl. "I always loved that you made these cool shapes, and we could play games," Danielle chuckled. "Well, sweetie, I can't make a round pancake to save my life—your dad always hated that—so I just figured that I'd best tell you that I was making other things," her mom confessed. Danielle paused in mid-bite. "Damn. I was a real sucker on that one" she said thoughtfully. "I guess it's pretty hard to outsmart a mom." She paused. "So your secret is out after all these years. Don't you feel better now?" she asked playfully. "I do," chuckled her mother, "it's always better to be honest. Here. Have half of my amoeba. It's pretty tasty, but I can't finish the whole thing. It will fuel you up for the championship game today." =========================================== Danielle was excited that Coach Ellen had come to the game, and her mom took the afternoon off work, too. Danielle had been sad to see her mom leave for work, though, and missed her all morning. For her part, Janice spent a very unproductive morning at her desk. She couldn't think of anything but of being with Danielle again. She knew that she should probably be troubled about the feelings she was having...but, somehow, she wasn't. She thought back to how hard she had worked to accept her feelings. "Well," she thought, "these feelings are unmistakable." Knowing that she was clear about how she felt gave her some comfort. Sitting with Ellen at the game was good for her, too. She liked being with Ellen, and now felt like she had a confidant to share her feelings with. Ellen had been a little surprised to see how warmly Danielle and her mother had embraced, but didn't think too much of it. Between periods, though, she found that the conversation with Janice went in an unexpected direction. "So," Janice had asked her, "do you think there are limits on how much we should honor our feelings?" "No, I don't," said Ellen decisively. Janice had always admired how strong and firm she could be. "But why are you asking me this?" "Because I have feelings that I don't know how to handle," answered Janice truthfully. Ellen put two and two together. She blinked. "You mean, er...feelings for Danielle?" Janice just nodded. "And I'm in a hell of a state about it." "I can understand that," Ellen said gently. She looked at Janice. "How can I help?" she asked. "I don't know," Janice said, shaking her head. "Talk me out of it. Talk me into it. Get me to a psychiatrist. Something," she took Ellen's hand, "Help me sort this out, Ellen. You were so good the last time around." The game had resumed, so Ellen took charge and led Janice to a more secluded spot so they could talk better. On the way, she had a chance to collect her thoughts. "Janice, I don't know what's right for you. Or for Danielle," she began. "I can tell you, though, that if what I saw in Danielle's eyes when she hugged you means anything she certainly feels the way you do." "Oh, she does," said Janice quickly. "It's written all over her face when we talk now." Ellen smiled. "Yeah. Neither of you are very good at keeping your feelings inside," she said. "But what should I do?" Janice wailed. "The 'follow your heart' thing seems...I don't know...not a good idea in this case." "Well, it may not be a good idea in the long run, but you can't get to the long run without going through the short run, can you?" Ellen answered her with a question. "Look. Danielle has these feelings for women that she's trying to explore. So far, she's been rejected by her best friend and feels like an oddball in her social circle. It seems to me that she's reaching out to the other woman in her life that she loves." In that moment, Janice knew that she loved Ellen. "You always make me a better person," she said taking Ellen's hand, "Every time I'm with you. You help me understand things." She smiled. "So why couldn't Dannie have latched onto you for her first love?" she asked rhetorically. "Because I set boundaries with my girls," Ellen answered. "I know other coaches who don't, and frankly, I think that's reprehensible. Somehow, that must have come through to Danielle." She looked at Janice. "So I'm out," she said, smiling, "You're elected." "You mean you think I should..." Janice's voice trailed off. "I think you should use your good sense," Ellen counseled her, "and whatever you do should be in Danielle's best interest." She looked at Janice. "You know that there are plenty of women around for you, don't you?" she asked. Janice nodded, "But I think there's only one that I want," she said, smiling. "Right now there seems to be two," Ellen corrected her. "Ok," Janice allowed, "Two." "Anyway...how did we get into that?" Ellen asked crossly "where was I? Oh yeah. Anyway, you don't need to be using Danielle to explore your feelings. But if she needs someone to help her explore hers. Well," she put her hand tenderly on Janice's face, "I personally couldn't think of anyone better than you for that job." "Really?" asked Janice. She couldn't believe her ears. "You don't think it's...I don't know... sick? You're not jealous?" "How could I be jealous?" Ellen asked. "Jealous of what? I'm not saying that this is right or wrong. It just is what it is." She paused. "Janice, my first time with a woman was with an older woman. She wasn't my mother, but she was a very maternal figure to me. That was a big turning point in my acceptance of who I am and how I feel. She was so comfortable being a lesbian, and by the time we were finished, I understood that it just wasn't a big deal to have these feelings. I don't know how things might go with you and Danielle, but I think you both need some affirmation." Janice smiled and nodded. "We do," she said. "Well, you have it from me, at least," Ellen told her. "I'll always be there for you both." Janice embraced her. "Hang on tight, it's going to be a bumpy ride," she whispered, kissing Ellen. By the time they returned to their seats, the game was well into the third period. It was a close, fast-paced, exciting game. Danielle missed a wide-open shot that would have won the game for her team. Janice groaned. "Shit happens," Ellen said simply. "She's just got to play through it." Fortunately, Danielle's team wound up winning anyway. "Well, I sucked," Danielle said, coming out of the locker room, "but at least we won." Coach Ellen ruffled her sweaty hair. "You battled hard, kiddo, even when the bounces didn't go your way. Be proud of that," she told her young star. Danielle smiled. "Thanks, coach," she said. "I'll keep working." Janice invited Ellen out for dinner, but Ellen declined. "No thanks, guys, not tonight. I've got some things to attend to." She lowered her voice as she kissed Janice on the cheek, "and I think you do, too." Janice chuckled. "What's so funny?" asked Danielle, tossing her equipment bag into the trunk. "I'll tell you later," her mother answered. =========================================== "So. Do you want to stop for dinner, or make something at home?" Janice asked as they drove. Danielle fidgeted nervously. "Mom," she began softly, "I'm actually not very hungry right now." "Is everything ok?" Janice asked. "Yeah Of course...it's just that...jeez, I'm tongue-tied," Danielle said, stopping in mid-sentence. Her mother looked at the clock. "I'd better make a note of the time and date," she teased. "This is a first." Danielle giggled and playfully slapped her mother's thigh. Her mother reached down and took her hand. "Don't strike your mother, young lady," she said with mock sternness. Then she just held Danielle's hand in hers. "So you don't want dinner? What do you want?" she asked, looking over at her daughter. Danielle just looked at her, pleading silently. Janice smiled. "Ok. One massage, coming up." she said as Danielle squeezed her hand tightly. =========================================== It seemed like they would never get home, but finally they arrived. Danielle zipped into the house, shedding clothes as she ran upstairs. "Hey, what about your equipment?" called her mother as Danielle's half-naked form disappeared up the stairs. "Could you do it for me?" Danielle called. Janice could already hear the shower running. By the time Janice had taken care of hockey equipment and got her bedroom arranged, Danielle was finished showering. Janice had left the bedroom door open and Danielle just walked in. She was nude. "No need for false modesty, right?" she asked her mother, "there's here nothing you haven't seen already." "Well, no," Janice replied, smiling, "but I've never had it put on display before, either." Danielle blushed as she got into bed. As Janice embraced her, she could feel her daughter covered with goose bumps. She began to rub Danielle's back in a caressing, comforting way. Danielle looked up at her questioningly. "You don't really have any knots to work out, do you?" Janice asked. Danielle just shook her head, too nervous to speak. "Then why don't we just cuddle for a while?" Janice suggested. Danielle nodded and snuggled more closely against her mother. They remained silent a long time, each coming to terms with themselves and their feelings. Finally Danielle spoke. "So what were you and Coach Ellen talking about in the parking lot? You said you'd tell me later." Janice took a deep breath. She had been trying to figure out how to say this. "Sweetie, I talked to her about...how I felt..." Danielle stirred. "...about how we felt." "Wow," her daughter said softly, "you mean she knows? I couldn't tell...I mean...she didn't act any different than normal." "She's a remarkable person," Janice agreed. "I can't say that she was 100% supportive, but she did help me to see that sometimes the usual rules don't apply." Danielle smiled. "You've been breaking a lot of your rules lately," she reminded her mother. "Like the whole kissing girls thing." In reply, Janice kissed her. "Yeah. And like the whole kissing my daughter thing..." she responded as Danielle cut her off with another kiss. Janice gently extracted herself so she could continue. "I'm here for you, Dannie," she told her daughter. "I want you to feel free to be yourself tonight...to explore whatever you need to explore." Danielle leaned forward and kissed her mother. It was a lingering kiss. "I need you to explore me, too," Danielle sighed. Janice silently pulled off her clothes and they were naked together. Danielle immediately began caressing her mother's breasts as she had done that morning. This time, though, there was no hesitation as she quickly resumed the suckling that had produced such a strong response. Janice, for her part, no longer tried to resist the feelings. Having spent the whole day keyed up sexually and emotionally, she knew that she was going to succumb quickly no matter what. "Ahhh, Dannie," she sighed, "you do that really well." Seeing her mother becoming sexually aroused, got Danielle excited as well. She felt herself becoming light-headed—intoxicated with the smell, taste and feel of her mother. The pulsing, warmth returned between her legs, and she instinctively humped forward, finding her mother's thigh to press against. Janice understood and reached around to grasp Danielle's ass. She pulled her daughter more tightly tightly against her as Dannie spread her legs and welcomed the comforting thigh, giving it full access where it was most achingly craved. As Danielle began to hump against her, Janice could not stand it any longer. She reached down to her mons, brushing it lightly with her palm, then gripping more firmly and joining her daughter in the rhythmic thrusting. Danielle saw her mother's hand working, pleasuring herself. She reached down and, a bit awkwardly, tried to do the same for herself. After a few minutes, Janice could see that she was having trouble. She gently moved her hand to her daughter's pussy, saying softly, "Here, let me show you," as she got a good grip and pressed down firmly. The reaction was immediate. "Oh God, mom," Danielle moaned, "please do it. Please." She had no idea what to do, but instincts passed down from time immemorial took hold. She began thrusting her hips, fucking the air. There was only a slight adjustment of her loving mother's hand required. As Janice's fingers disappeared into her daughter's moist slit, Danielle was now fucking flesh and blood. And there was no question: her body knew exactly how to do that. "Follow your heart," was the last conscious thought Danielle had before she completely lost herself in the moment. Janice was awestruck at the strength and passion of her daughter. Danielle had been transformed into a complete, adult woman, totally focused on mating. Seeing the powerfully thrusting, athletic hips, Janice thought, "She could make such beautiful babies," before realizing that her daughter's destiny lay elsewhere. Like any good mother, she only focused on helping her daughter reach her full potential as a woman. "So be it," she thought, "this is who my daughter is." And after a moment: "And this is who I am." Danielle had a desperate look in her eyes. She felt her body slipping from her control as her reflexes began to take over. "Oh God, mom, I can't..." she began, then passed beyond speech. "You're doing great, Dannie," her mom assured her, "let nature take it's course. It won't be long now, sweetie." Janice reached her fingers toward the area where her daughter's g-spot would be located. At first, nothing happened. Then, suddenly, Danielle grabbed her mother's hand with a furious strength and held it in a vice grip as she fucked her young loins down on the arching fingers. She tried to pull the blessed fingers deeper inside her. She wanted to envelop the fingers, the hand...ahh...the whole universe. "Oh God, oh God, oh God," Danielle cried as she moved. She felt like she was strapped to a rocket, blasting off into outer space. Janice could only watch, awed, as her magnificent daughter fucked herself into a cataclysmic orgasm. She wiggled her fingers, trying to give Danielle every possible bit of pleasure. "Oh God, fuck. Mom," Danielle moaned, "Mom...ahh... fuck," she gasped as Janice felt her internal muscles grip down and squeeze her fingers with a furious strength. Almost immediately, Danielle's body began to shake with the orgasm, and she grunted and twitched her way through it. 


	5. I love it

As the spasms began to subside, ally sighed, "Holy Christ. Wow." "Fuck me," she added, shaking her head. Her mother smiled. "I think I just did, sweetie," she said. ally swept her hair back and shook her head. "Wow. You sure as hell did. That was fucking amazing. I must have sounded like an idiot though. It's hard to think straight when you're in the middle of that." lilly kissed her daughter. "Yes it is," she agreed. "You do use a lot of swear words don't you?" she added, arching an eyebrow. ally blushed, "I know, I'll try to be better about that. Mackenzie is a bad influence on my language...and...er...being in the middle of the sex thing doesn't help." Her mother kissed her. "Well, it's not good for public consumption...but, honestly, Dannie, I thought it was exciting. I'm glad you can let go so completely." ally started to cry, unable to control her emotions. "I only can do that because you accept me for who I am. It's you, mom. It's all you...I will always love you for that." Now, lilly was crying too. She hugged ally like she would never let her go. "It's all you, Dannie. Now and forever. You are the joy and light in my life, and I want you to be happy." They hugged, kissed and sobbed together, knowing that their lives would always be better for having shared a moment of passion that almost everyone else would call wrong. Suddenly, ally started laughing uncontrollably. "What's so funny?" asked her mother. "I just thought of the 'follow your heart' thing," ally answered, still giggling, "I think I was following another part of my anatomy for a while there." "You sure as hell were," her mother affirmed, kissing her. As they kissed, ally became aware that her mother seemed unsettled. "Oh my God," she said, "you haven't...I mean...mom, do you need to..." her voice trailed off. "If you're asking if I need to climax, the answer is yes," lilly answered. ally could see the sex flush that was spread across her mother's chest. "This has been a long, long day in many ways, and I just can't take much more of this." ally was inexperienced, but her heart was determined. She wanted to give her mom the same kind of pleasure that she had received—and nothing would stop her trying. She reached down to her mother's mons, trying to get her hand in the right position. lilly stopped her. "Dannie, let me do this myself...I'll come a lot faster and easier that way. I just want you to be with me...hold me while I come, sweetie. I want to be close to you." ally wrapped her arms around lilly and adjusted her body so her mother had room to move her arm. "Oh God, mom, I want you to feel so good...like you did for me." lilly looked at her daughter with tears welling in her eyes. She had never been loved so openly, so completely, so innocently...so purely as she was loved now. ally, no matter how inexperienced technically had the heart of the best lover she could ever imagine. lilly reached down, feeling again for the proper spot. The hair, the mons, the lips...opening...wetness...ah...almost...just upward a bit...and... ally felt her mother's body jerk as lilly's hand found what it had sought. "Mom?" she asked, uncertainly. "Ahhh, God," lilly sighed, "I've needed this all fucking day," as her hand began to make circular motions. ally kissed her. "Now you're the one with the potty mouth," she teased. One look at her mother's face, though, told her that her quips were going unheeded. lilly was rapidly finding the release she sought. ally watched as her mother's fingers skillfully circled her clitoris, gathering speed. "That's got to feel amazing," she murmured. "Oh God, sweetie, it does," lilly groaned. "I'm headed where you just came from." ally put her face right next to lilly's ear and spoke in a low whisper, "Mom, I want to see you come. I love you so much. Come really hard." As she finished the last sentence, she heard lilly gasp, then saw her back arch and her legs fly apart. Her mother gave one final, massive pelvic thrust, pushing her mons upward. With all totally exposed, ally had a perfect view of the hand, now a blur, and the fingers dancing around the engorged clitoris. Grunts and explosive sighs burst from her mother, and ally watched the older woman move through the throes of a powerful orgasm and into the resolution phase. For a good long while afterward, it was lilly's turn to rest her head against another woman's breast. And ally, for the first time, knew the feeling of caring for another being who needed her. It was everything she had dreamed that it could be. = "It seems like kissing girls is just the beginning," ally said dreamily, as her mother nuzzled deeper into her embrace. "Well, a lot can start with a kiss. That's for damn sure," sighed lilly. "That's an understatement," ally said. "Anyway, I'm glad you discovered that you like to kiss girls," she continued, "I'm especially glad that you like kissing me." "I do, ally. I love it," lilly said softly, "I love kissing girls. And I especially love kissing my daughter." lilly considered their embrace for a moment, "Why does everyone think that things have to be one certain way?" she asked. She hugged her daughter—her lover—close. "Is this really so wrong?" she asked continued. "It can't be wrong when it's so perfectly, exactly right." ally smiled, recalling how the events of the last few days had changed her mother. She knew that everything would be all right, now that her mom understood her feelings. She looked lovingly at her mother and kissed her. "Mom," she said simply, "welcome to my world."


End file.
